Imagine yourself at a turning point in your relationship. Arguments, misunderstandings and feeling like you’re in a different language are all common. Unsung heroes like the marriage and families therapist can unravel the knots.
MFTs don’t only work with couples in danger of separation. Also, they support the whole family as it deals with many issues. Many MFTs are involved in a variety of activities, including helping families cope with issues such as grief and parenting. What’s their role? What is their job?
Imagine Sarah, and John. After ten happy years of marriage they feel lately like roommates instead of partners. A recent argument over finances had spiraled to an uncontrollable level. They decided that they needed help from a MFT. The therapist offered no magic solution or waved a wand. Instead, she provided a safe environment for both to express their emotions without judgement.
One day, she gently asked John “How do feel about Sarah bringing up the subject of money?” John hesitated before finally revealing his fears about the stability of money, a fear rooted in childhood. Sarah had never thought of John’s responses as fearful, but rather stubborn.
Depending on the family, therapists will use a variety of techniques. Role-playing may be used to teach individuals how others see situations. Cognitive-behavioral methods can be used to modify negative thought patterns and reduce conflict.
It’s important to be clear that therapy doesn’t always go smoothly. This requires a commitment on the part of both parties. You will have to face difficult discussions or emotional situations that may leave you raw and vulnerable. But it is through these vulnerable times that real healing takes place.
Imagine the Martinez’s family who are dealing with their teenager’s rebellion after they have moved to another city because of Mr. Martinez job transfer – a move that he also wasn’t happy about. A therapist advised the Martinez family to have weekly family meetings, where each member could air their grievances openly while maintaining respect. The sessions evolved over time to become less about venting frustrations and instead more about finding solutions.
The training that goes into being an MFT is not easy. The MFTs undergo rigorous training followed by supervision of clinical practice before they become independent practitioners.
But let’s discuss stigma. It still exists, and it affects people who seek help. This happens in certain groups or cultures that see asking for assistance as a sign of weakness. Imagine this scenario: you’re car has broken down. Would you repair it by yourself, even if there are no mechanic skills you possess? Probably not. You would call the nearest mechanic, who is a trained expert and knows what they’re talking about!
Why is it any different for mental health? It makes sense that if there’s something wrong emotionally, or with a partner, you would seek out professional guidance.
Consider this: If you were to try DIY therapy solely by reading self-help manuals, it would be like attempting surgery only after watching Grey’s Anatomy. It’s definitely not a good idea! Some of these tools can be helpful, but there is nothing like individualized attention provided by someone specifically trained to work in the field.
You remember all those idioms? Now, here is a phrase that perfectly fits: “It’s two tango”, which means a successful relationship requires effort from both sides. And sometimes having someone help guide the steps can mean all the difference in terms of stumbling awkwardly or dancing together gracefully!
It is the holistic nature of MFTs that sets them apart. This means they consider all factors affecting an individual in context with broader relationships, and not just isolated symptoms.
When you are having a difficult time in your relationship, it is important to remember that seeking professional assistance can help. This could lead to a positive outcome.